Have you ever felt like this before~? I believed most of you had... It's irritating to have such kinda agony. It confused you. Making you regretful of whatever you do. Either way you do it, you'll still feel troubled. Thus end of the day, you'll only have severe headaches...

That's exactly what I'm facing now. There are times where I felt that I should do the right thing, but my ego will retaliate. But if I were to follow my ego's way, my conscience will stop me. This battle that has been fighting within me for years, never will they stop, so I'm more or less used to it already.

Things become different when such war involves feelings, as in love. Now the war involves 3 party; My Ego, My Conscience & My Feelings. It's getting out of control now. I no longer knows what's right or wrong anymore~! I don't feel right too. Anyone who can help me~? I'll tell you what happen...

There's this gal that I like, I shall code-name her as "Juliet" so as to not disclose her identity, because she most probably will be reading this too. *ops* Anyway, I doubt she'll find out it's her also. ^_^Haha~! Ok ok, back to the main topic. The problem is that, she has a boyfriend whom they had been seeing each other for months. Before I continue from here, I wish to state one IMPORTANT fact, and that is I have NO intention to split this couple up at all~! Believe it or not, that'll be my stand~!

Juliet plays a very important role in my life, ever since she appeared in my life. She's the next important person I care for other than my family. She can heal my wounds. She had given me strength, makes me noble. She even makes me want to be a better person. I begin to fall for her even deeper. And that's the problem~! I could no longer keep it in me already, especially when I started to blur out some things which I shouldn't have. Behaved funny, or blush when she's around.

Suppression of my feelings for her becomes harder each day. Days & Nights which I missed her, I dare not even tell her, which I don't think it's right for me to tell her too... I would just normally send her a SMS, hoping that she'll reply or send me one back too. Or even better still, I'll call her... But that can really back-fire myself back at times, especially when she's with her BF. A simple forwarded msg from her, would be enough to make me smiling all through the day. Can you imagine how I'll jump if she were to call to talk to me, or ask me out~? *smile* That'll the nicest thing that can happen to me now.

Telling her the whole truth would means I lighten the burden that I've been carrying on me, but that'll means she'll have to carry part of the burden too. I won't want to stress on her, neither do I want her to feel stress. What's worse is that, if my confession wasn't handle properly, that'll make me lost her completely too, not even will she want to keep me as a friend anymore for breaching the trust she had in me as a friend. Will she~? What do you think~?

So what should I do~? Can you peeps give some advice to guide me along~? The best solution that I can come out so far is, try to treat her as a normal friend. I even tried it liao in fact, but it kinda rebound back more worse... Distance away from her would make me go crazy and lost hope in everything. I'll go back to depression state, I can foresee in that. Try ways and means to win her heart would means that I'm turning EVIL. I had never believed in breaking couples up, retribution will come back some day, some how. Be it I follow the way of My Ego, My Conscience or My Feelings, the other 2 would go against it~!

But don't need to worry much for me ya, cos I believe that TIME & FATE will sort things out for me. I'm just trying ways to throw things out in me, so that I can feel SO MUCH better now. *phew* That really works... Especially when she got to read this, I'm telling her indirectly already. Isn't it~? Sorry for all the nagging~! "^_^Hee~! But hey, if you really have a good solution, do tell me ya~! Thankz~!